Shooting a video at home doesn’t help me at all. It only makes me dizzy.
I watched a lot of videos, and I felt bad. I am a consumer that consumed lots of videos, but I need to make things and I need to move. I had a glass of Jack Daniels and coke, and out for a walk. I felt fine, even if it’s super cold outside. The walk, the wind, music, moon, moving cars, sidewalk, tree branches, people walking by, all became my experience. Is it better than watching videos? Content on the internet? I guess not moving and watching moving pictures just making me dizzy. That’s the same if I don’t talk to my friends. But I say I need alone time, and that walk is just what I needed. Getting up late makes me a worst version of myself. I watched lots of cooking shows on YouTube these two days, and before that, camera reviews and photography. It’s not doing with real photography, although I found some people to follow on Instagram. When I was walking, the most connection I felt is the vibration of my phone. WeChat connects me to my friends and family. But then I think back to my childhood, when that wasn’t a thing. How do I connect to my friends? It’s a different world now. I remember the hug I had with my mom. I knew that feeling when I wanted it to last forever. I remembered that moment. Then I remembered the first toy camera, the black film camera I had in my Grandparents’ home. The green stove, the sofa they get from Shanghai, the outdoor toilet, the kitchen, the vegetables we grow. It’s so far away, but it comes back in my memory. I couldn’t have ever thought I would walk like this in the US. I don’t even know about another city. I learned about them in my textbooks. I learned Michael Jackson in a music video. I was amazed, astonished and of course I didn’t know a lot about English. But now, I am sitting in front of my computer, which by the way was an absolute luxury for me. I got my computer in my 5th grade. I used the computer to get online and play video games. My world was so small. I still remember the way I learned to use a keyboard. And why we had to wear shoe covers to go to the computer labs. We couldn’t go to the internet cafes underage of course. Well the bad boys went there to play games. Now I am here, and I seemed like a good boy. Going into the high school was my only goal, and I didn’t have a passion. My passion would be to go out and see. Now, I am here, in the United States, living by myself. It’s quite an achievement isn’t it? Being able to get here to study is what I thought impossible. I even thought anything should be fine if I get out of my country. It’s not. Getting out of my hometown to study in Shanghai gave me some kind of comfort. Speaking of comfort, I need to get out of it. I am in it. Oh well.
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Mike HouFull-time designer thinker, part-time explorer dreamer. Archives
August 2017
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